The Secrets
by SoLifeGoesOn
Summary: <html><head></head>I used to be b-o-l-l-y24 but needed a change! So new pen name,new fic. The boys have a secret,but so does Sandra,and hers has much larger consequences. Enjoy!</html>
1. Chapter 1

**The Secrets: Part One**

_A/N:It's really short,but it's kind of just to set the scene and leave you guessing;) Probably a three shot at most but I'm not sure if you'll enjoy it, please let me know if you think I should do another chapter. Anyway, here goes!_

They'd been like this for a few days now. Quiet, secretive even, giving her strange looks. At first she'd thought she had a hole in her tights or split coffee on her dress, but she checked, finding nothing wrong whatsoever with her appearance. The furtive glances continued. It was just them, though, nobody else, Strickland was as dull as ever, even under the circumstances. That was the strange thing, because she was also keeping a secret, probably much larger than theirs, with huge consequences for all of them.

She couldn't bear to tell them. What would happen when she and Strickland, the other keeper of the clandestine information told them? Would they shout? Blame her immediately? She'd prefer that to silence any day. No. She'd tell them by herself. They most likely would shout if Strickland was there.

She doesn't think they trust him sometimes. She didn't before, not completely anyway, but since he helped put John Felsham behind bars, her opinion had changed for the better. He is a good bloke, although _definitely_ not her type. Plus he fought tooth and nail to help her, even before she knew about the bombshell that was about to drop on her and her team. For that she thanks him greatly, despite the fact that his efforts might have been in vain.

Anyway, if they told her their secret, she would tell them hers and face up to the after effects, however painful they might be. _That's it Sandra, strong as always_, she told herself. They'll almost certainly be sympathetic, sorry that she has been burdened with this for weeks now.

NTntNTntNTntNT

That was just before home time last night. She couldn't tell them then. Brian was about to have a family dinner with Esther and Mark, who was taking some holiday from work. Gerry was going out for dinner with a woman, which had been a golden opportunity to tease him even more than usual, and Jack was rushing home to watch his favourite tv programme.

No, not now, her conscious had announced.

It was the next afternoon, the case was progressing slowly and there was a companionable silence shrouding the UCOS office. She had to do it now, or she feared she would never summon the courage.

Clearing her throat nervously, she rose from her chair and strode out of her office.

"Jack, Gerry, Brian: I've got something to tell you, I-"

"So have we," Gerry declared suddenly.

_A/N: So, you've probably already guessed what Sandra's secret is, but what could the lads' be? Review if you want to find out;) I'll try to update soon, I promise xD_


	2. Chapter 2

**The Secrets: Part Two**

_A/N:Here goes the grand reveal, sorry I kept you waiting, I've been on holiday all weekend so the next update should be quicker! Enjoy x_

There was a tense pause. She couldn't quite believe that she was about to bring their little world in the UCOS office tumbling down around them. Her mind was racing, how should she break it to them? "You go first," Sandra said solemnly, giving her time to think, "Mine is quite bad."

"Okay ,well, it's about you, and…" Jack mumbled hesitantly.

"Look, Sandra, we saw you getting cosy with Strickland, heads together and staring at each other and everything. We don't mind like, but you could have told us that you're seeing him, we're your mates, right?" Gerry declared.

The blonde's face turned from amused to angry to confused in about 6 seconds.

"When, where, how…? She questioned, frowning.

"You were in here on the loveseat, talking about something last Thursday evening. I came back to see whether you wanted to go to the pub but I didn't want to disturb you 'cause you looked really close so I went home," Gerry babbled.

"We didn't believe him at first, but then we noticed you've been going to his office more frequently over these last few weeks," Brian chipped in.

"I suppose I have, but that's _not _because I'm seeing him, don't be bloody ridiculous!" Her voice went up a couple of octaves, "No, it's because they're trying to shut UCOS down, that's my bloody secret!"

Silence.

Her lips were an almost invisible line as she looked into the crestfallen, pained faces of her team.

"I'm so sorry," she choked out, tears now rising in all of their eyes. Gerry fixed his wide eyes on her, desperate for guidance and solutions which she couldn't give him.

"Can't you do anything?" Jack asked desperately.

"We've been trying, Strickland and I, but we're not sure yet. I'm so sorry," she repeated, trying hard to hold the tears back.

"It's not your fault, Sandra, come on love, don't cry, we'll figure something out," Gerry reassured her, trying to be the alpha male as always. He pulled her into a hug, stroking her shiny hair and rubbing her back.

The atmosphere was quiet again, apart from the sounds of Sandra's muffled sobs, until Jack realised one member of their team hadn't spoken since the news had been broken. "Brian?" the eldest man questioned, "Are you alright?"

Gerry and Sandra broke apart to hear Brian's response.

"I, um…what am I goin' to do? I'll drive Esther mad staying at home, I'll drive myself mad. Bloody hell!" he shouted suddenly and stormed out, slamming the door in a way Sandra would be proud of, banging heavily into Strickland on the way out.

He staggered slightly and walked through the door. "What the hell was all that about?" he asked, before seeing the devastated faces of the remaining three people in the office, "Oh. I take it you've told them,Sandra?"

"Yes sir. Now if you'll excuse us from the rest of our days work, we're going to find Brian and go to the pub."

With that, they followed Sandra to her car, leaving their boss's boss alone in their empty office.

_A/N: Please review, any comments welcome from my lovely readers!__ Can't decide whether to keep it as a three shot or extend it to four chapters? Any advice appreciated xD_


	3. Chapter 3

**The Secrets Chapter Three**

_A/N: Here goes with Chapter Three, thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, it means a lot and keeps me going!_

**Gerry**

He'd lost his job and accused his boss of sleeping with a high-ranking officer all in the space of 5 minutes. Plus he'd hugged the previously mentioned boss, but that was whilst she was crying. The guv'ner crying. That was something that didn't happen every day. In fact, it never happened.

On a slow day, years ago, still under the impression she was a tough bitch the whole way through, he had curiously asked Jack how many times he'd actually seen Sandra cry. Firstly he glared, but then curtly responded with 'four'. He'd had the courtesy not to ask about the circumstances, but assumed at least one was when her dad passed away. One day he'd ask Sandra about this. One day when she trusted him enough.

Obviously she doesn't trust him as much as he had thought, or she'd have told _him _he was about to become unemployed. She tells him things sometimes which she doesn't tell Jack or Brian. For instance, last week she'd said that she preferred Audi's to BMW's, and that she'd once bought a pair of Louboutins but never worn them. Sandra had never actually said these precise words, but implied them. He'd miss that, after UCOS had been shut down. Analysing her every sentence like a bloody Shakespeare play. It drove him crackers at times, but it was a sport he enjoyed. Over the years, he'd found out some stuff worth knowing. _For Pete's sake, Gerry, enough about Sandra. Focus on the job. Or how you can save your job._

**Sandra**

So Brian had stormed out and Jack had been shocked, however it was Gerry she was the most worried about. He seemed uneasy, quiet_, _whereas Brian had made a scene and Jack had been trying to help her find solutions to this mess. When he'd held her, she'd heard a strangled sob and a 'Shh, we'll be alright'. Since that, she hadn't heard his Cockney drawl. In a strange way, she missed it. His voice made her feel safe in the most dangerous of situations, whether it was having a gun pointed at her head or chasing a suspect through the streets. _Enough about Gerry, what do I do now? _She wondered, feeling glad that she had Jack's support, at least.

She had managed to find Brian (talking to Scampi in the park) and brought him back home, where she had personally visited Esther to explain what had happened and why Brian was so upset. The older woman was, thankfully, understanding of their predicament and suggested that once Brain had calmed down, he should join them back at work. He would only get more stressed at home, Esther had reassured her, probably glad that her,Gerry and Jack were also lumbered with an upset Brian for a 40 hours a week. Brilliant.

NTntNTntNTntNTntNT

A fresh day dawned over London. The weather was unusually warm and sunny for early May, a heat wave approaching. Sandra took this as a sign of hope, although it probably just meant that she needed to dig her summer clothes out of the attic. As she walked out of the door, dressed to perfection as usual, her mobile buzzed impatiently. Strickland. Pressing the answer call button quickly, there was one thing on her mind: _Good news or bad? _

_A/N: Find out next time!_


	4. Chapter 4

The Secrets Chapter 4

_A/N: Thanks you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, my computer wouldn't let me reply! Apologies for the tense change, it was getting difficult to write with the pace of the story quickening slightly now. _

"Sir?" she inquired politely, probably sounding a little snappy, but who cares? She needed to know immediately whatever it was he needed to tell her.

"Sandra, I apologise for calling you this early in the morning, but-" "What is it, sir?" She interrupted, annoyed more than ever by his dithering.

"Well, it's good news actually; I've managed to secure us a meeting with the commissioner on Tuesday afternoon, to discuss the closing of UCOS."

Her mood had now improved considerably, despite the knowledge that the commissioner was well-known for being temperamental, mood wise. She just hoped that Tuesday afternoon would be the right time to catch one of his good moods.

"Sir, that's brilliant news, thank you! I'll let the boys know as soon as I get to the office, I'm sure they'll be pleased." She smiled properly for the first time in weeks, desperate to tell her team.

"In the meantime, Sandra, I'd like you to go over the accounts and make sure they're all in check as the commissioner will most likely be inspecting them." Shit. There was always a downside on the rare occasions Strickland bought them good news.

"Of course, Sir. Everything will be in order by Tuesday. Bye." She hung up violently. Still, she definitely shouldn't complain-they now had a decent chance of rescuing their jobs, thanks to the DAC.

She jumped into her Saab and sped off to the Met building, before slowing when she hit rush hour traffic. It was twenty five past nine when she finally arrived and, unbeknownst to her, Strickland had already told Gerry, Jack and Brian, who were as glad as she expected them to be, but as annoyed as she was that they had to sort out the accounts.

"Sandra! You've heard the good news then?" Jack had greeted her as she walked through the doors with a slight spring in her step.

"Yes, has Strickland already told you?" she questioned. They nodded in the affirmative. _Prat. "_Well, I was going to tell you, but never mind. Anyway, have you also heard the bad news?"

"What, that we have to sort all this shit out by Tuesday?" Gerry asked, gesturing to the large pile of papers on his desk, already frustrated by the seemingly endless numbers.

"Yeah, here let me take half of that," She lifted a mound of files from his desk, transporting them to her office and placing them on top of yet more unfinished reports and various other paperwork. "Looks like we're in for the long haul, lads."

"You can say that again." Brian responded dully.

NTntNTntNTntNTntNT

Many coffees, teas, custard creams (and even a sneaky chocolate brownie or two) later, the accounts were done. It was precisely 12 minutes past seven on Monday evening and she was clearing her desk carefully of the remnants from her brownie binge. "Fancy a drink, Sandra, to celebrate finishin' all this?" a cheerful yet weary voice that belonged to Gerry asked.

"I'm surprised you're still awake, never mind asking me for a drink," she teased, "But yeah, if you don't fall asleep at the bar. I'll drive, though." she grabbed her jacket and car keys and headed for the doors followed by Gerry. Jack had given Brian a lift home, which was probably a good idea considering the fact that he had fallen asleep into his laptop at about four.

The pub was packed, full of people tired from the ever difficult Mondays, wanting to relax over a drink with their friends, much like them. They managed to find a recently vacated two person table and finally sat down after half an hour waiting at the bar with their drinks.

"Bloody hell, my knees are killing!" Gerry moaned, trying to stretch his legs in the cramped space.

"Not as much as my back, I swear that chair at the office gets more uncomfortable every day," she paused for a moment, "I'm getting to sound like you lot, aren't I? Moaning about my back and what not. Christ."

Gerry laughed out loud; the image of Sandra hobbling about like a little old lady in his mind. She wouldn't even hobble when she _was_ a little old lady, she'd still stride with her back straight and her head held high, like always.

"Want another drink, Sandra?" he asked when he'd finished laughing and she'd given up glaring.

"Don't mind if I do, as long as you're paying."

_A/N: I've decided to extend this to five or six chapters, I'll update soon! _


	5. Chapter 5

The Secrets Chapter 5

_A/N: Thanks again to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I still can't reply because of my computer._

_Ow. _Definitely not the first thought she should have on the day of a meeting and definitely not the first thought she should have on the day of a meeting that could potentially save her and three other peoples jobs, not to mention Brian and Jack's sanity, maybe even hers too. Trying to even raise her head from the pillow caused her head to spin and she felt sick. _Hangover. Thanks a million, Gerry. _At first they weren't drunk at all, the last thing she remembers is Gerry asking her if she wanted another drink, the rest is a blur. She's getting too old to have hangovers. Gerry _is_ too old to have hangovers, but that doesn't stop him.

She doesn't blame him, she's in control of herself, but as she stands and the room spins, she can't help but be annoyed with him. It's not only that they got drunk together, however the fact that she doesn't anticipate she'll be feeling too good for the rest of the day. What if she's too ill to attend the meeting? Jack could go, but it's not his responsibility, and she'd have to lie to him about what was wrong with her. Gerry would probably tell him at some point anyway, if he could remember. Hopefully he can't, or she would be in some shit with Jack. No, she would go.

NTntNTntNTntNTntNT

It's still warm when she finally goes to her car, deciding to open the roof so she can get some fresh air to wake her up. She speeds across London, sunglasses on to cover her eyes, even though the sun is hidden behind a few clouds. She's actually on time for once-punctuality is _not_ her strong point-and meets Strickland in the foyer, where he's stood looking quite nervous.

"Ah, Sandra," he greets her, "Slight delay ,I'm afraid, the commissioner is held up in another meeting, so we'll have to wait here until we're called up."

"Okay, I'm sure he won't be long." she flashed him a quick smile and sat down on one of the uncomfortable, plastic chairs. Her boss joined her. Their ten minutes of awkward silence was interrupted by the commissioner's assistant, a young girl with dark hair.

"If you'd like to see the commissioner now, his office is just through here," she guided them down a short corridor with a single door at the end. "Here you are." They thanked her and smiled, before entering the polished oak door.

"Robert, and Detective Superintendent Pullman, I've heard a lot about you and your team. The DAC here sings your praises very highly." he greeted them with a slightly forced smile.

"Thank you, Sir, I hope you'll give us the opportunity to carry with our work."

"Ah yes, I thought you'd say that. I'm afraid that the budget for the police force, indeed the public sector in general is being reduced dramatically, so some units must take the brunt of the cuts."

"Sorry Sir, but why us? As you can see, our solve rate is second to none and together we have a range of skills which, I believe, set us apart from other departments." she announced, whilst Strickland retrieved a bunch of files from his briefcase, to back up her point.

"If you'd like to take a look at these, Sir, they contain statistics, such as the solve rate and account figures, which as Superintendent Pullman said, are second to none." The DAC added, passing the papers to the Commissioner.

"Hmm. Everything seems to be as you both said. I'll need to take a closer look, obviously, but in the meantime I will consider whether to go ahead with the proposed closure, or keep your department running."

"Thank you very much, Sir, I appreciate you giving up your time for us." Strickland rose from his chair and shook the older man's hand. She nodded in agreement and also rose, the sickness returning immediately as they left into the corridor.

"That went well," she commented whilst they walked to the main doors, "Do you think he'll really consider keeping UCOS open?"

"I'm not sure. We'll just have to rely on his word and wait until he contacts us again. Keep positive, though, Sandra."

"I'll try. We all will." she assured, heading towards her car.

"Wait, Sandra-would you like to go for a drink?" he asked, looking unsure, even though he'd probably been planning this for a while now.

She turned around slowly, "I should really get back to work and tell the boys how the meeting went. Sorry."

She faced the direction of her car once again, glancing the disappointed look on her boss's face before striding across the car park,still with her pounding headache.

_A/N: Find out if UCOS will be saved next time!_


	6. Chapter 6

The Secrets Chapter 6

_A/N-Thank you so much for the reviews,especially to Freythefrog and XTimeGirlX for their support all the way through;I love this little NT community thing we have here:) I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!_

_Right._ She'd seen the guilt in his eyes, despite the smile on his face when she told them how the meeting went, but now he was seriously in for it. He always did stupid things at the wrong time. She still had a throbbing headache now, even after two paracetamols. She'd ensure he too would have a headache by the time she was finished with him. "Gerry," she beckoned with her finger, "my office." He rose from his chair and followed her, sitting opposite her.

"Look, Gov, I didn't mean to get you drunk, I just thought you could do with somethin' to relax you, that's all." He opens the conversation defensively.

"That's all. That's all? Gerry, it was the night before the meeting which could save our jobs! Do you really think I needed to get pissed down the pub? I could have been preparing things, documents, things to say to the commissioner!" she raises her voice, but not loud enough for Brian and Jack to hear.

"No, but you were knocking white wine back like it was nectar, Gov. I couldn't stop you," he protests, before hesitating for a moment. "I didn't want to. You seemed...happy, relaxed."

She pauses as well, staring into his eyes, blue on blue. He looks down slowly when the silence becomes too much. She needs to say something; the atmosphere is tense and awkward.

"It's alright. You aren't responsible for me and how much I drink. Go and help Jack with his enquiries."

Those blue eyes are glancing at her questioningly. She's been too soft, for some reason unknown to her,and he's surprised by her frankly crap attempt at a bollocking.

"Are you sure, Gov?"

She nods her head.

"I should get you drunk more often, get myself out of a yelling at-"

"Just go!" She snaps, irritated by her weakness.

He stands and begins to exit the room with a quick glance back at her, half concerned, half pleased with his self.

NTntNTntNTntNTntNT

After that slight falter in their relationship, as a team they'd managed to keep spirits as high as normal, with Sandra keeping them all occupied and Gerry cracking jokes at every opportunity. She'd even laughed at a few of them herself. She really must be getting soft. Jack was over in the corner making a fresh pot of tea (plus coffee for her), Brian was hard at work on his laptop and Gerry was sat at his desk, feet up, reading The Sun, whilst she was relaxing on the loveseat.

Then Strickland strode through the door.

"Sit down, will you Jack?"

All four pairs of blue eyes met each other as Jack returned slowly to his desk. _Was this it? _The news they had desperately craved but didn't want to be told? The suspense was physically hurting Sandra.

"Sir? You've heard from the commissioner?" she asked impatiently.

"Yes."

"Well?" she snapped, rising quickly from the small sofa to meet her boss's eyes, "Just tell us."

"The commissioner has decided to save UCOS."

"Really? Are you sure?" Jack questioned, a frown still remaining slightly on his face.

"Yes. You can all carry on working as normal; although you may have to cut your tea budget. I'll leave you to it." He smiled and walked away.

The largest, happiest grins broke across the faces of Detective Superintendent Pullman's team. Gerry clapped Jack and Brian on the shoulder before reaching his gov and pulling her into a tight hug, laughter encompassing both of them.

"Who's up for a drink?" Jack declared, as relieved and joyful as they had ever seen him.

"Me!" yelled Brian cheerfully, "I'll ring Esther, tell her the good news!"

Gerry let Sandra go to get her coat, still smiling widely. They waited for Brian to finish on the phone, and then headed to the pub. Gerry, in between drinking his pint and reminiscing about the good times they'd had together, was deep in thought. He'd come so come to losing what he loved - being part of a team who were his closest friends. Sandra caught his eye and smiled unusually softly.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked.

"I was just thinkin' how close we came to losing all this," he gestured to Jack and Brian, who were stood at the bar, deciding which crisps they wanted. "Strickland kept us waiting like it was the bloody X Factor results,the prat."

"I know. Don't dwell on it too much though, it's in the past now and we have a future to look forward to."

He almost spat out his drink. "_You and me_ have a future together?"

"Yes." She answered.

"What? How? " He was seriously confused now.

"We have a future together, Gerry. With those two idiots over there."


End file.
